I haven't been feeling so good for about a month due to a sinus/ear infection. It's to the point that I'm actually feeling blue about it.
This morning my boss left bagels for everyone in the office. Around 9:30 a.m., I decided to get myself one (I was hungry). When I got there, one of my coworkers was there cleaning, so I helped her. She was telling me that her hubby always use to say to her that she's a bit of a clean freak. Well, as she continues to talks, I learn that her husband of twenty years passed away a year ago. Just like that, she was a widow with two high school aged children. Her son is about to started his first year at UC Riverside this month. She continued to talk and I continued to listen.
She went on to tell me that before she married her husband, he told her that he had renal disease and that he just had his first kidney transplant. If she wanted to break up with him, he would understand. She didn't breakup with him and that first kidney lasted 10 years. Then he got another transplant that lasted 7 years. But, the final crisis, he didn't survive. She feels guilty that she didn't call 911 as soon as he was having his crisis. She asked him if he wanted her to call 911, an ambulance or his doctor, he said no, not yet. The next morning around 2:30 a.m., the choice was taken from him, she called for an ambulance. A few days later, he passed away from renal failure.
She continued telling her story with tears rolling down her face. She said to me, if only she had called sooner, he would have been alive today. By this point, I'm crying with her. As I'm listening, I realized she needed to talk and I needed to listen. I told her if it happened that fast, then there was nothing to be done and it wouldn't have matter 24 hours earlier. She told me that the hospital told her that as well.
She then went on to say that she moved in her sick mother, because no other member in her family wanted to care for her. My coworker's children are helping take care of her as well.
I told her that she has gone through so much. She hasn't had a chance to grieve for her husband. She needs to give herself that time.
We never get over a love ones' death. We just accept that the person is gone and are thankful for the time we had with them. This is how I got over my beloved cousin, Diana, passing away. We gave each other a hug and went back to work.
As I sat at my desk, I decided to send her an e-mail. I said to her that in her grief, she lifted my spirits. I have been so sick that my moods have been gloomy. I said to her that she reminded me that life is bigger than illness. I am taking meds, eating right and taking care of myself. In time, I will heal and feel better.
She Thanked me for listening and that I was a blessing today for her.
Later that afternoon, a friend of mine gave me a fortune cookie, I opened my fortune and it read, "If given a penny for every kind act you'd be a millionaire." I smiled and Thank God that I was there for my coworker, who in her own way was there for me.